She wasn't doing anything, not really. Assessments were happening shortly so she was checking some last messages and mentally preparing herself for whatever the assessment would need of her. Then Nikolai is suddenly there. In her room. Pulling her earpiece out of her ear while she's still trying to calm her heart down from the shock of his sudden appearance.
Koroleva is up already at Korol's urging, her glow fluctuating between bright and dim in questioning anxiety as Alina stares up at Nikolai. ]
Saints, you could warn a girl, Nikolai. [ She answers him in clear Ravkan, it's like music to her ears to hear their native language.
She gets up off the bed though and takes his hand to follow him. ] What are you doing?
[ Sorry. But as she noted, they're short on time, and he didn't want to wait. He puts a finger to her lips, and then pulls her hand.
Out of the room, along the corridor, away from people. He has no particular destination in mind. He just stops once they reach somewhere that seems quiet, and empty, and where there's no through traffic.
Even so, his voice is low, close to a whisper.
Korol had followed, his glow still bright and intense, and once Nikolai stops, he turns to prowl around them and stand guard. ]
[ There's nowhere safe on this ship. This isn't Ajna, and even there she didn't feel completely safe in the wilds. Here they're entirely encased in all things CDC. There's nowhere they can really go.
But they do try.
Eventually they stop and Koroleva paces, watching Sturmhond in the same strange curiosity that Alina regards him with. Though Alina's look may have more of a touch of annoyance. ]
No. I don't know him. I recognize the name from when I was studying files, but I've never met him personally. We had him on defense with Athos.
Interesting enough, though it's not really Nikolai's point. Ginoza is a name to her and little more, the same as he'd been to Nikolai only five minutes ago.
He stops, taking a breath, and holding a hand up. He can see Alina's patience is wearing thin. ]
His father never returned to life after the Blue mission.
The Instructors weren't willing to be drawn on the fates of any of those killed. They didn't tell me how they died - only that they were killed in action.
[ He looks at her. Alina is the only one he could talk to about this. He spends half his time trying to convince everyone else to trust the CDC, and then he questions them himself. It's infuriating. ]
Why would they do that? That's what I can't understand. If they were forthcoming with information it would be so much easier to give them the trust they seek.
[ He's aware of how that sounds coming from him, by the way. Secrets are his currency. As it turns out, it's not fun to be on the other side of the coin. ]
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She wasn't doing anything, not really. Assessments were happening shortly so she was checking some last messages and mentally preparing herself for whatever the assessment would need of her. Then Nikolai is suddenly there. In her room. Pulling her earpiece out of her ear while she's still trying to calm her heart down from the shock of his sudden appearance.
Koroleva is up already at Korol's urging, her glow fluctuating between bright and dim in questioning anxiety as Alina stares up at Nikolai. ]
Saints, you could warn a girl, Nikolai. [ She answers him in clear Ravkan, it's like music to her ears to hear their native language.
She gets up off the bed though and takes his hand to follow him. ] What are you doing?
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Out of the room, along the corridor, away from people. He has no particular destination in mind. He just stops once they reach somewhere that seems quiet, and empty, and where there's no through traffic.
Even so, his voice is low, close to a whisper.
Korol had followed, his glow still bright and intense, and once Nikolai stops, he turns to prowl around them and stand guard. ]
Nobuchika Ginoza. Do you know him?
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But they do try.
Eventually they stop and Koroleva paces, watching Sturmhond in the same strange curiosity that Alina regards him with. Though Alina's look may have more of a touch of annoyance. ]
No. I don't know him. I recognize the name from when I was studying files, but I've never met him personally. We had him on defense with Athos.
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Interesting enough, though it's not really Nikolai's point. Ginoza is a name to her and little more, the same as he'd been to Nikolai only five minutes ago.
He stops, taking a breath, and holding a hand up. He can see Alina's patience is wearing thin. ]
His father never returned to life after the Blue mission.
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That dawns on her a little now. ]
He was one of the ones on your list, wasn't he.
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Yes, exactly that. Noted as killed in action.
Half the people who answered me told me those names had to be a lie, and I said they were wrong. Now I know that in one case, at least, they were not.
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You think some of the people on that list aren't actually dead?
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I hardly made an exact count, but yes. Many of them doubted it. Which could just be grief talking.
But no. I don't think that. After all Ginoza's father is dead. He just didn't die the way I was told he did.
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The Instructors weren't willing to be drawn on the fates of any of those killed. They didn't tell me how they died - only that they were killed in action.
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But Nobuchika's father?
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[ Nikolai moves, almost pacing, his arms folded over his chest. ]
If he didn't come back after the Blue mission, he couldn't have been killed during the evacuation.
The only death I'm sure of is 1. I know he was on the shuttle when it crashed. The others, I know nothing about at all.
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[ She glances up at him as he paces. ]
That mission was so long ago. What if all of these people weren't killed during evacuation, but they were holding the list?
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[ He looks at her. Alina is the only one he could talk to about this. He spends half his time trying to convince everyone else to trust the CDC, and then he questions them himself. It's infuriating. ]
Why would they do that? That's what I can't understand. If they were forthcoming with information it would be so much easier to give them the trust they seek.
[ He's aware of how that sounds coming from him, by the way. Secrets are his currency. As it turns out, it's not fun to be on the other side of the coin. ]
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Do you get how frustrating that is now? [ Just pointing it out that this is what she had to deal with from you. Just. saying. ]
We shouldn't jump to the worst conclusions.
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I'm not jumping to any conclusions. Mostly because there's nowhere to jump.
I just don't want our trust to be blind. How long did it take you to trust me? Honestly.
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I don't trust them. But we need them, all the same.
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[ So can they? He's starting to feel very tired of wondering.
He stops pacing, at least, and settles his back against the wall next to her. ]
Don't tell anyone. Kotetsu and Banagher are already struggling with what we had to do.
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I'm struggling, and I agreed to all of this. Of course they are too. [ She says it without pity, though. Just a fact. ]
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I know you are. But you've held it together. I never had to worry about you losing your cool on that planet.
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I know. [ Because she'll always act with Ravka's best interests. ]
But they're going to struggle worse than I am.
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[ His eyes slide to her. ]
For a while, I was genuinely worried Kotetsu wouldn't make it back. We cut it close. Closer than I wanted.
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We have to help them through this. [ Because if they continue to be a liability, Alina and Nikolai have already proven what side they'll choose.
Ravka. Always Ravka. ]
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[ He touches her cheek, just lightly. Barely. He knows why she's worried. Neither one of them wants to have to make a choice like that again. ]
Once, you would have been the one making that choice. You learned.