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solkoroleva) wrote2014-08-31 06:32 pm
solkoroleva) wrote2014-08-31 06:32 pm
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STARKOV.ALINA@CDC.ORG
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Never? That seems harsh. Maybe I should be playing harder to get?
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You're already difficult, don't make this harder.
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No, you're right. That part should wait until after the wedding.
1/2
what does that even mean?
2/2
WAIT what wedding?!
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:)
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Just testing the waters, lovely.
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If we get married I'm divorcing you just for that.
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Ah, so now it's an 'if'? I think that might be an upgrade. Am I right?
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It's more like a 'probably' here lately.
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Probably.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I can live with probably. It's not as good as a yes, but it's close.
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You haven't actually asked me, you know. I can't say 'yes' if there's no question.
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So what if I did? Ask you.
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If I tell you that ruins the whole point of actually asking me. It's like you're asking me without asking now!
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A man likes to be sure.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I might be needing that ring.
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You can't calculate everything, Prince Perfect.
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
When you want it, you know where to find it.
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You know I was only waiting for you to be ready.
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I know.
Thank you for that.
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But you don't need that anymore, is that what you're saying?
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I'm saying....
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I'm saying I may never be 'ready.' But I'm as close as I need to be, I think....
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That's all I need to know. I'll do it the right way this time. You deserve that.
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Asking me in front of Mal after I almost got put in shackles for punching you for lying to me probably wasn't the most romantic way to ask a girl.
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I'm really not that particular, though. You don't have work hard at anything.
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I wasn't trying to be romantic, then. There was no romance in it, I barely even knew you. I was asking the Sun Summoner, not Alina Starkov.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
That's not the case now. I know it's stopped you from trusting me. But those aren't my terms anymore. Simply put, Alina, I didn't love you then.
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So... now you....?
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But it doesn't mean that those feelings can't grow, separately. He doesn't feel cold to her now. He's been with her. He wants her, physically, and he's frankly not sure he could have coped with the last few weeks here if it hadn't been for her. He's been leaning on her, emotionally speaking. He'd told her that he wanted that closeness to continue, that he wants it to grow. He still does. ]
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
Now, I think it's the closest I've ever come. I think that in all my life, I've never loved anyone, and never even wanted to, until I met you.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I can't pretend that it would only be in name. I can't tell you I'd be all right with Mal standing as your guard while you fall for him on the side. One Royal bastard is enough.
FROM: sturmhond@cdc.org
I don't want that, I couldn't live with that. I don't want to ask if that's still where we are.
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She fears love. She fears the things it does to you. She fears the weakness it causes. She fears making that mistake and being unable to take it back. She fears having her heart broken again by a man who seeks to use her.
But Nikolai says the words she never thought he could say. He says it before she can even get the courage to do it herself. And he answers her biggest fears. That even if he doesn't want this if all it is is politics. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
We haven't just been that for a long time.
[ That's the easy one. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew how you felt about Mal as my personal guard. We've talked about this once before, even if you haven't reached that yet. But I guess you got back to it eventually....
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew that, though. And still, I didn't stop this when I came back here. And it's not because I want to respect that wish-- even though I do. I understand why you feel that way and I don't want that for any child I have, royal or not. [ Although apparently more likely to be royal.... ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I didn't stop because I was falling for you, Nikolai. And I kept falling and...
[ The next text only has three words in it. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I love you.
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