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[solkoroleva]

 

STARKOV.ALINA@CDC.ORG
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[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

I am.

How have you been?

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

Want to talk about it? It might help.

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

She's doing good. She could use some rest, though. I think we all could do with some rest.

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

If you'd like, you can come over. I'm actually alone right now.

[ And some company wouldn't go amiss for her, either. Even if he ends up not wanting to talk about it that much.]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

I don't really rest anymore. I just try to make sure I can function, and that's about the extent of it.

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

016. Near the edge of camp right now. If you see any rover glowing neon pink that would be mine.

[ Fetch does love to decorate... and usually with neon graffiti. We should just all be grateful she hasn't started putting up dicks on their rover walls. ]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

I know. But rest hasn't been easy. Even before this.

[solkoroleva]

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

No. My rovermate Fetch did that.

FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org

You'll see when you get here. I'll leave the door open.

[solkoroleva]

She'd never do that. It fades eventually, but she always makes more. [ She gives a light shrug. You get use to the rover glowing pink all the time after awhile.

She sits up now, moving over to allow him space if he wants to sit with her. ]

Hi, David.

How are you doing after... everything. [ The kidnapping. But even going back further. There's been so much. ]

[solkoroleva]

[ They do. Which maybe actually helps sometimes, when it's dark and all the rovers look the same. You'd never miss hers.

She pulls her legs up on her bed, folding them easily under herself as she leans against the side of the bunk and watches him. Listens to him. He doesn't have to explain, really. She knows what he means. She hasn't slept decently since Novokribirsk. The rest? It just keeps piling on. ]

When I went home last time...

I didn't remember any of this. [ She tells him now. ] It just all... disappeared.

Maybe some day it'll all just fade from our minds...

[solkoroleva]

Mmm.... [ She hums to herself, closing her eyes. Trying to go back to that time. Everything around that time period seemed to blur together. Constantly fighting shai and killing shai or killing friends or killing something. Finding the specific time point takes a moment. She barely notes his surprise, though. ]

It was that time we had the drop.... right into a swarm of shai. The shai were everywhere. It was after Lusania when some recruits were dropping from the Neheda.

[ Saints. How long ago was that?

She opens her eyes and watches him again as he talks. Will it never leave?

She shook her head at her final question. ]

I felt like me.

But maybe I'm just that messed up. [ She shrugs. ] I'm no more put together at home than I am here. If there was a difference, I'm too far messed up at home to even notice it.