[ She can't help a little smile as he takes her hand and reaches to thread her fingers with his, giving his hand a little squeeze. This is a little more personal for him.
But she tries to keep her focus on the conversation, sighing slightly. ]
I didn't press him too much about it when we talked. I wanted to focus more on how he was doing.
But I have wondered about that. He's strong. Stronger than any of the crew. I don't know about how he is compared to the other Instructors but... they all seemed okay.
That we know of, anyway. I didn't see much of Dagger during that whole time.
[ Which may have been because he was busy, but he was also the only Instructor who'd told Sturmhond to stop digging into what was happening. He remembers that.
But back on task. He wants her to be thinking of Ghost right now, not Dagger. ]
It worried me, Alina. If he was the only one affected, you'd have to wonder if the attack was geared towards him in some way. Even after the rest of us were cured, he still had to fight through it.
Dagger wasn't down for days, though. [ At least, not that she remembers. Then again that time was so blurry she could be remembering wrong.
Though he continues with Ghost and Alina looks a little concerned herself. They had discussed this with the others before, but now they were discussing it again. A little more closely. ]
Why would anyone target Ghost, though? Gliese is our Captain. [ And the one usually talking the most about betraying the CDC. ]
That seems odd to her. Gliese has said she doesn't love. How true is that, though? Ghost seems to love her. Or at least care for her very deeply. And whatever Gliese says, Ghost is important to her on some level.
How much of a level, though? Alina is certain she's important to Gliese the same as Sturmhond is. But she's also positive she's expendable to Gliese, too. Even if part of that hurts her to consider. She did trust her too much...
But Ghost has been with her... as long as he can remember. All that he can remember. Maybe there is something more there between the two. She's never really asked how Gliese feels about Ghost in reverse, though she's never forgotten the affection in Ghost's messages when he talks about Gliese.
More headaches. Gliese is the biggest mystery of all to Alina, and one she's scared to solve. ]
You think Ghost is important to her?
Did you know she once told me she loves no one.[ She glances up at him. ] What if she loves no one so she has no heart to attack. So she can't lose anything. She already lost everything. If I were her, I'd do the same. I'd love no one so I have no more weaknesses to be struck at. So I can scorch everything in my path to get to my goals... [ Like an entire crew. ]
So how is Ghost her weakness? [ She doesn't ask like she's challenging that he is. Just that she's challenging how Ghost is. ]
Something in his heart twists when she jumps so quickly to speak of love. That is the most obvious explanation for her. What does it say about them that her first instinct is love, and his had been to imagine betrayal?
He squeezes her hand, and then brings his other hand up to cup her cheek. His thumb runs gently across it. ]
I think he's important to her, yes. I think all of her lieutenants are.
[ Best not to make this too specific, even if it had been made specific to him. ]
I didn't say I thought it was about love. It may not be that he is the weakness, but a weakness. One they, whoever they are, found a way of hurting.
I don't think it was a coincidence that he was affected so badly. I think the attack was meant for him, and the rest of us were collateral damage. That's why I can't help wondering if he's still in trouble. We never caught the traitor, after all.
[ They're different. Alina will always value love, and Nikolai will always value Ravka to the point of ignoring all else. So long as the end is good for Ravka. ]
They didn't target all her lieutenants, though. They targeted Ghost.
[ For a reason. To get to Gliese? Or is there something else there? What is different about Ghost from the others that they would attack the whole crew to get to him. ]
If it was to get to Gliese, there's a reason why him and not the others.
[ She glances at him. ]
Or what if there's something different about Ghost.
[ She bites her lip and glances around them again. ]
Do you ever wonder about what he did in the caves?
[ Good. She's thinking now, thinking about Ghost. That's what he wants. He needs her to be watchful of their Instructor, and that means her mind has to be on him. Inquisitively, and not trustfully, if he can manage that. ]
I wonder often about that day.
[ This is no more than the truth, actually. They'd never had a full explanation. ]
I wonder what he did to those towers. I wonder what those towers were doing there, in the first place. I wonder what the statue had to do with them, why it had turned towards the sector when we were on our way back. Why the Scourges attacked us immediately after.
I don't think we were supposed to be there, Alina. I don't think the CDC wanted us to be there. That's what I thought at the time, and I still think it now.
Too many maybes. Too many mysteries. Too many half-answers. Then there's Gale's presence. Gale who had the last piece to the statue. Who saved them. Who Gliese hates. If the Towers were CDC related and tied to the statue and the statue to the CDC.... then maybe Gale knows.
But she doesn't think about that too much yet. Gale is too much of an unknown, and she tries to keep her own prejudices back. Not until she knows more about Gale.
So her mind goes back to Ghost and Gliese. ]
It could be related to what happened to Ghost on the ship or it could have nothing to do with what happened.
[ She shakes her head. ]
But Ghost does seem to be at the center of a lot of things.
[ Perhaps it is, After all, Mothership had been there with Ghost, and she'd been the one to save them all on the ship. ]
Or perhaps the issue is that Ghost is involved with the technical side of what we do. Perhaps whoever targeted him was actually targeting what he controls.
We don't know, and that's the problem. If we don't know why he was hurt, how can we stop it happening again?
[ Sturmhond nods, folds his arms, and raises a worried frown to her face. ]
No. I quite agree. If he wouldn't tell us about the towers before, there's no reason to now.
That's I've been trying to keep an eye on him since we got here, just in case he's still in danger. I don't know if he is, but I don't want to be surprised again.
[ She tilts her head slightly, giving him a look. ]
Nikolai Lantsov? Are you concerned for his well-being? [ She teases lightly.
She squeezes his hand. Sometimes she forgets the simple gestures, like using his whole name once again. They use Sturmhond in public company too much. ]
It's not a bad to keep an eye on him. Try to look out for anything else that might make him a target.
[ That she's obviously pleased at seeing his 'caring' side, does make Nikolai feel the tiniest twinge of guilt. That he cares about Ghost and his wellbeing is not actually a lie; that worry is genuine. But it's not what motivates him here. He's keeping an eye on what's happening because of Gliese's order. He wants to appeal to Alina's caring spirit. It's all too easy. ]
That's what I'm thinking. So far, I've not seen anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps that means he's safe, but...
Well, if something or someone else is watching, more than half the camp is about to be absent on Mapping. Including myself, so I'll not be here to be vigilant.
no subject
But she tries to keep her focus on the conversation, sighing slightly. ]
I didn't press him too much about it when we talked. I wanted to focus more on how he was doing.
But I have wondered about that. He's strong. Stronger than any of the crew. I don't know about how he is compared to the other Instructors but... they all seemed okay.
He was the only Instructor affected.
no subject
[ Which may have been because he was busy, but he was also the only Instructor who'd told Sturmhond to stop digging into what was happening. He remembers that.
But back on task. He wants her to be thinking of Ghost right now, not Dagger. ]
It worried me, Alina. If he was the only one affected, you'd have to wonder if the attack was geared towards him in some way. Even after the rest of us were cured, he still had to fight through it.
no subject
Though he continues with Ghost and Alina looks a little concerned herself. They had discussed this with the others before, but now they were discussing it again. A little more closely. ]
Why would anyone target Ghost, though? Gliese is our Captain. [ And the one usually talking the most about betraying the CDC. ]
no subject
[ Sturmhond will be careful here. Anything he thinks about it is pure speculation anyway, but Gliese had told him her thoughts about it. ]
But that's not saying much, Alina. You know how strong Gliese is. We all do, now that we've seen what happened to Optimus Prime.
[ He folds his arms, keeping his expression carefully worried. His lips turn down. ]
Perhaps we're dealing with someone who thought to attack her through someone else.
no subject
That seems odd to her. Gliese has said she doesn't love. How true is that, though? Ghost seems to love her. Or at least care for her very deeply. And whatever Gliese says, Ghost is important to her on some level.
How much of a level, though? Alina is certain she's important to Gliese the same as Sturmhond is. But she's also positive she's expendable to Gliese, too. Even if part of that hurts her to consider. She did trust her too much...
But Ghost has been with her... as long as he can remember. All that he can remember. Maybe there is something more there between the two. She's never really asked how Gliese feels about Ghost in reverse, though she's never forgotten the affection in Ghost's messages when he talks about Gliese.
More headaches. Gliese is the biggest mystery of all to Alina, and one she's scared to solve. ]
You think Ghost is important to her?
Did you know she once told me she loves no one.[ She glances up at him. ] What if she loves no one so she has no heart to attack. So she can't lose anything. She already lost everything. If I were her, I'd do the same. I'd love no one so I have no more weaknesses to be struck at. So I can scorch everything in my path to get to my goals... [ Like an entire crew. ]
So how is Ghost her weakness? [ She doesn't ask like she's challenging that he is. Just that she's challenging how Ghost is. ]
Why did those affect him worse than us?
no subject
Something in his heart twists when she jumps so quickly to speak of love. That is the most obvious explanation for her. What does it say about them that her first instinct is love, and his had been to imagine betrayal?
He squeezes her hand, and then brings his other hand up to cup her cheek. His thumb runs gently across it. ]
I think he's important to her, yes. I think all of her lieutenants are.
[ Best not to make this too specific, even if it had been made specific to him. ]
I didn't say I thought it was about love. It may not be that he is the weakness, but a weakness. One they, whoever they are, found a way of hurting.
I don't think it was a coincidence that he was affected so badly. I think the attack was meant for him, and the rest of us were collateral damage. That's why I can't help wondering if he's still in trouble. We never caught the traitor, after all.
no subject
They didn't target all her lieutenants, though. They targeted Ghost.
[ For a reason. To get to Gliese? Or is there something else there? What is different about Ghost from the others that they would attack the whole crew to get to him. ]
If it was to get to Gliese, there's a reason why him and not the others.
[ She glances at him. ]
Or what if there's something different about Ghost.
[ She bites her lip and glances around them again. ]
Do you ever wonder about what he did in the caves?
no subject
I wonder often about that day.
[ This is no more than the truth, actually. They'd never had a full explanation. ]
I wonder what he did to those towers. I wonder what those towers were doing there, in the first place. I wonder what the statue had to do with them, why it had turned towards the sector when we were on our way back. Why the Scourges attacked us immediately after.
I don't think we were supposed to be there, Alina. I don't think the CDC wanted us to be there. That's what I thought at the time, and I still think it now.
no subject
Too many maybes. Too many mysteries. Too many half-answers. Then there's Gale's presence. Gale who had the last piece to the statue. Who saved them. Who Gliese hates. If the Towers were CDC related and tied to the statue and the statue to the CDC.... then maybe Gale knows.
But she doesn't think about that too much yet. Gale is too much of an unknown, and she tries to keep her own prejudices back. Not until she knows more about Gale.
So her mind goes back to Ghost and Gliese. ]
It could be related to what happened to Ghost on the ship or it could have nothing to do with what happened.
[ She shakes her head. ]
But Ghost does seem to be at the center of a lot of things.
no subject
[ Perhaps it is, After all, Mothership had been there with Ghost, and she'd been the one to save them all on the ship. ]
Or perhaps the issue is that Ghost is involved with the technical side of what we do. Perhaps whoever targeted him was actually targeting what he controls.
We don't know, and that's the problem. If we don't know why he was hurt, how can we stop it happening again?
no subject
I don't know if he knows why he was hurt, though.
Even if he did I can't see him telling us. Especially if it is related to the towers.
no subject
No. I quite agree. If he wouldn't tell us about the towers before, there's no reason to now.
That's I've been trying to keep an eye on him since we got here, just in case he's still in danger. I don't know if he is, but I don't want to be surprised again.
no subject
Nikolai Lantsov? Are you concerned for his well-being? [ She teases lightly.
She squeezes his hand. Sometimes she forgets the simple gestures, like using his whole name once again. They use Sturmhond in public company too much. ]
It's not a bad to keep an eye on him. Try to look out for anything else that might make him a target.
no subject
That's what I'm thinking. So far, I've not seen anything out of the ordinary. Perhaps that means he's safe, but...
Well, if something or someone else is watching, more than half the camp is about to be absent on Mapping. Including myself, so I'll not be here to be vigilant.