[ It's not been a question for her for... a long time. The question has been whether to let herself love him.
She fears love. She fears the things it does to you. She fears the weakness it causes. She fears making that mistake and being unable to take it back. She fears having her heart broken again by a man who seeks to use her.
But Nikolai says the words she never thought he could say. He says it before she can even get the courage to do it herself. And he answers her biggest fears. That even if he doesn't want this if all it is is politics. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
We haven't just been that for a long time.
[ That's the easy one. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew how you felt about Mal as my personal guard. We've talked about this once before, even if you haven't reached that yet. But I guess you got back to it eventually....
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew that, though. And still, I didn't stop this when I came back here. And it's not because I want to respect that wish-- even though I do. I understand why you feel that way and I don't want that for any child I have, royal or not. [ Although apparently more likely to be royal.... ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I didn't stop because I was falling for you, Nikolai. And I kept falling and...
no subject
She fears love. She fears the things it does to you. She fears the weakness it causes. She fears making that mistake and being unable to take it back. She fears having her heart broken again by a man who seeks to use her.
But Nikolai says the words she never thought he could say. He says it before she can even get the courage to do it herself. And he answers her biggest fears. That even if he doesn't want this if all it is is politics. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
We haven't just been that for a long time.
[ That's the easy one. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew how you felt about Mal as my personal guard. We've talked about this once before, even if you haven't reached that yet. But I guess you got back to it eventually....
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I already knew that, though. And still, I didn't stop this when I came back here. And it's not because I want to respect that wish-- even though I do. I understand why you feel that way and I don't want that for any child I have, royal or not. [ Although apparently more likely to be royal.... ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I didn't stop because I was falling for you, Nikolai. And I kept falling and...
[ The next text only has three words in it. ]
FROM: starkov.alina@cdc.org
I love you.